Re: The Fear of Empty Space by Tisha Morris

As I scrolled down through my newsfeed on Facebook, I’ve noticed The Minimalists have shared a blog post from Tisha Morris, titled “The Fear of Empty Space.” I immediately clicked on the link to read the post - my initial thought was “do I have a fear of empty space?” Much of the things I personally find interesting are readings that can help me understand myself and the human nature better. This was one of them.

It was a well thought-out and short post. I love those - always to the point and easy to understand. Morris poses different questions and ideas of why she thinks people have a paradoxical fear and yearn towards emptiness, space, void, etc. One particular line resonated with me the most:

“Fear breeds in empty space. It’s where we can hear our thoughts. [It] forces us to look at our life. We have to witness the choices we’ve made. We have to remember the ungrieved past.”

Morris points out that we avoid emptiness because it can invoke our real voices/thoughts - they can make us reminiscence the poor choices that we’ve made in the past or force us to view our decaying present and dim future. This is the kind fear that I’ve felt after I’ve forsaken most of the things/stuff I had in my room. It unearthed a “self” - found a “self” of me that is unkind and toxic to my own self.

For the past week, after I have decluttered my things from my room - it gave me more time and physical space. The one thing I didn’t mind was the physical empty space that decluttering rewarded me with. However, a negative energy surged and enveloped my mind, it felt clouded - like how the weather has been lately (rainy, windy, and cold).  Thoughts of comparing myself to my peers and friends and family creeping into my mind, uncertain future vs my indecisive personality, etc. These were the reasons I did not post last Monday. I think I’ve been experiencing more of an emotional clutter now that I don’t have physical clutter that is distracting me from thinking about it.

“The void is also where creation is born. The same place we find our fears is also the place we find our soul. Follow the fear and you will find your authentic self. This is what we’re truly afraid of. Finding our true self comes with moving out of our comfort zone, changing family beliefs, taking risks, being seen, and vulnerability. The more these words scare you, the deeper your piles of clutter.” - Tisha Morris

Then, do I have a fear of empty space? I don’t believe so. I think of empty spaces as part of aesthetic aspect of life and it can reflect the aspect of a person too. It can go so many ways - I like empty spaces, more so when they are used beautifully. Life can be empty, but it can be full of life. If you get what I mean. Now, the problem is the emotional clutter that I have started noticing. At this moment, I will have to work on letting go of feelings (which does not sound easy). Maybe, as Morris says, I should somehow work on my mind in the arts (to induce creativity).

Minimalist WIP | A Reflection, a Lesson & Choosing a Handbag

Fashion is something I have always struggled with. It is not a second nature to me as it is to other girls. Since young, I have no control over what I wore and carried - my mother was the boss of that. Most of us, well at least the millennials, have possibly endured an awkward childhood due to poor fashion choices our parents made. I sure know mine just did not care much about fashion (laughs).

Anyways, I have never been keen on fashion either - until I have moved to NYC. It started to faze me. Now that I think back, was it because of societal unspoken rules or my own fabrication of such conditions for acceptance? That is something I have not found the answer to yet.  One thing I know is that we must keep moving, somehow, somewhere.

Now, back to the point of this post, handbags. I used to own a lot of handbags. For one person, I owned more than 20 bags and I am in my 20s. The catalyst for this problem was , as you have guessed, fashion. I was swept by the idea that I needed to keep up with trends. I had so many different types, ranging from shoulder bags, crossbody, backpacks (my favourite), fanny pack, totes, and even a luxury handbag. What was I thinking? Now, I honestly think I was sick back then, keeping all those handbags just in case I would need it one day. Why? It was simply because MAYBE one day I will use it for that one special occasion. Reality is: I do not go out often enough or have special events happening left and right - so why should I collect all these things? These bags/handbags collected dust in my tiny little close in my old room and took a lot of space (they were all shoved into two big boxes).

Once I’ve realized that I have a problem, it was time to fix it. The last two years, I have dedicated myself to reduce my handbag collection. I turned to eBay to sell some and turned to friends to donate others to. It worked out - and as of last month, I have significantly reduced the bags from that monstrous collection. I realized that most of those bags do not suit me and I know I will never reach out for them any time soon.

Now, I can proudly say that I am owner of collection of three bags/handbags. I am very content! And I use all three for their chosen intentions. My focus is much clearer now that I don’t have so much stuff cluttering my space as well as my mind.

There are a series of criteria that I created to narrow down on what I think is my ideal type or types of handbag. To many, this may seem silly: why do we need to be so strict with choosing a mere handbag? The answer is simply because I do not want to make the same mistakes again and accumulate handbag after handbag. It will become a cluttering monster pile again.

Self discipline is important, because you are setting standards to mold yourself - that is to say you are taking control on how you want to shape yourself as a person. And self-discipline, I believe, is key to building a self that you chose based on your principles and morals - your beliefs.  

One thing I chose for myself is to shift away from fast-fashion consumerism. It is not easy to do as I have been following fast-fashion for all these years until recently. However, we must start somewhere, it is not too late if you are willing. Well, let’s start with choosing a handbag after the cleanse (declutter).

Steps to Choosing a Handbag for Everyday Use:

1. What kind is your favorite handbag?
1. E.g. shoulder bag, crossbody bag, hobo, backpack, clutch, etc.
2. What size? (consider your lifestyle and think of how much you normally need to carry around with you)
1. E.g small, medium, large
3. What silhouette do you fancy?
1. E.g. structured, hobo, etc.
4. What kind of surface material do you prefer?
1. E.g. fabric, leather, canvas, PVC, etc.
5. Preference in terms of product sourcing ethics
1. E.g. real leather or PU leather
6. What is your price point?

Using the questionnaire above helped me narrow down the kind of bag(s) I can comfortably carry around most occassion. With it I was able to decide to have one main bag, which is a mini backpack, for everyday use (great for running errands, work, shopping, and casual outings with friends); one medium-large backpack or bookbag for grocery shopping, outdoor-sport occasions; and one crossbody for those rare formal events. So far these three types of bags work for me because they serve the purpose I have chosen for their existence in my collection. I have been rotating between them depending on what the occasions call for - though the one I use heavily is my mini backpack.

Well, if you have made it this far into this piece, thank you for your time!